Sadness In My Soul

Unother Day In My Shitty Life

2006-10-05T03:37:10Z

I can't do anything anymore. My family officialy hates me. I think i am going to give up on my family...I mean there my family..and i do care about them...but they hate me..so why try hm? oh well. I guess all i can do is live strong and try hard. But even though i say this..im not compleatly sure about that. Despite what my family does to me I still worry. For example my grandfather has been sick for a week. And he started with a virus..but turned into something worse. Pluss my great grandmother is sick and not taking her pill's...this is all to hard..heh. I guess all of this is making things stressfull...but i have to deal with it..and try to not dwell on the past. Heh..there i go again..im trying to make things sound better then they are...thats me trying to be happy..heh

xXx
<3

heh

2006-09-25T04:50:31Z

im sitting at home wondering why i care about things. i miss all of the times that i could actually smile. I never had to fake. or to ware a mask. Oh well, i cant help the fact that i cant handle life..maybe i am just a loser. oh well, i live threw it i supose. heh. i wonder why i even write my thoughts down in here. maybe i hope someone will come along and see this, possibly care. maybe i hate my life. hell i am a loser who has no life. heh, worthless peace of shit just as my mother and family calls me. oh well..life is life. we all have issues and problem with our effed up families.

I am thinking why i havent tried to take off someware and never come back. Possibly i am scared of what the real world is like. and i dont want to take a risk at it. i am frightened of what most ppl will not allow others to know. but i dont care..ppl can think what they think...because i am who i am...thats all that matters to me...heh

neh

2006-09-25T04:26:30Z

Ok so i am thinking of why i am still up right now..not too late but still. i have school and my bf is talking to me and saying that i should sleep. The words that he is speaking to me make me feel calmer than normal. It puts me in this state of mind ware nothing else matters to me. Only him and his words of cure. Its funny how the sound of his voice will even make me smile...heh i think he tries to hard..he has me now. Neither of us want to loose eachother. heh. oh well, i guess i am in love...they say love is confusing...whoever said that is a smart fellow...lol...

...

2006-09-25T04:21:46Z

Its been to long to worry about past things that have happened to me. I guress that i just may not care what happends later in life. I am going to stop worrying about the future..and live in the moment of now. why should i worry about past pain and regrets when there is nothing i can do about it? i am kinda wondering why i always worry about anything and everything. even if i am not a part of it. it makes no sence to me. i guess i try to hard. lately i have been thinking that maybe i should just give up..maybe not. I think now in the moment to just take life as it is. heh..now i am writing about nonsence that i am thinking. I guess i write it down to try and make my self less confised about life. It may not help..but i try.

*zoe*

Quizzes

2006-06-20T08:23:40Z

Quzzes

2006-03-19T03:05:21Z

Emo...Gay...Hot Or Not?

.:.Hot.:.MCR and Fallout Boy Pics!.:.Funny.:.

Thats hot...brotherly love... I'd like to get between it.
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Fall Out Boy....hmmm?

.:.Hot.:.MCR and Fallout Boy Pics!.:.Funny.:.

That sure doesnt look like andy to meh...
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Is He Hott...i duno

Who's your emo boy???

Sonny Moore- He's the lead singer of fftl. He is oooo so hott. He has 2 lip piercings, and wears quite a bit of make up.He's really short, but thats ok.
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Eyeliner much...lol, depending on what you look for in a guy...this is hot...well its one of those things...heh

What Does your Emo Boy Look Like?

THOM! You got Thom, Lord of the Mosh! You are a lucky lady!
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ninja_zoe @ 2006-03-18T19:53:00

2006-03-19T02:54:17Z

So You're Stuck in a Fantasy with some Hot Guys: PART 2 (Hot pics. Fun story. For girls or boys with girl tendencies :)

You lust for Jin the Pirate Man! I don't blame you, he is very desirable. He very cunning not to mention a total 100% grade-A hunk'o'badass. Yes, he is a badass. Pretty bad, in fact. What did you expect from a pirate? Don't forget, he was tied to the pole for a reason. Anyway, he hasn't really gotten to know you yet, but when he does he'll probably become fond of you. At least fond enough to keep his promise to you.
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ninja_zoe @ 2006-03-18T18:57:00

2006-03-19T02:11:46Z

What guy would you LOVE? (pics...hot sexy pics)

A shmexy Punkerr!!!!
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I feel bad

2006-03-17T21:39:27Z

I am so exausted. i got sick cuz i haven't slept in 8 days. I woke up the other day and fainted in the bathroom when i went to go and take a shower and wash up for the day. I looked at myself in the mirror and everything went extreamly blurry. then black. I woke up then around 12. so from 5 am-12 pm i was unconcious. My mom obviously let me stay home...then i called her. She told me that when i fainted i hit my head agenst the sink. so yea. what bothers me about that whole thing is that she didnt even take me to the hospital. i could have fucking died or had some messed up sickness. damn why dont the ppl in my fam ever care about me or how i am doing. I guess thats why i am the way i am. oh well. I just dont know what to do. Plus i havent eat'in in a while...i kinda have to keep my body fat %age at 4.5 % or i will loose my job...tell me what i should do so i dont get more sick from lack of food and sleep...what is there that i can do. What foods will not distrupt my prob. Well hope i can get help fom you guys.
Later
Emo Chick....Zoe.......Zjael......Zoey.....or what ever you call me

HOLY SHIT PPL! HI!!!

2006-01-11T02:22:38Z

Hi all meh friends! I havent been on in a while! and i need advice! i miss everyone! I hope everyone is doing good! plz reply!

ninja_zoe @ 2005-07-26T21:31:00

2005-07-27T03:33:07Z

You have determined eyes

What kind of anime eyes do you have?
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cool huh?

ninja_zoe @ 2005-07-13T21:27:00

2005-07-14T03:35:31Z

well its another day in my life...like anyone cares..but i have finnaly go plenty of money to get my electric guitar...im so board with out it...i wanna play it!! but the law (mom) says i cant get it until she see's my first report card...grr....darn -_- ...oh well.....i am so impacient with this stuff.....grrrrr.........jeeez when will the day come when i can get it??........well thats all for now ppl...latters

~Zoe

hey

2005-07-12T00:15:41Z

hi guys, im sorry about that one post about ending my LJ account...its not what it seems, i was just really depressed about something is all...so im sorry -_-

.....

2005-07-08T17:48:37Z

im ready for highschool, but at the same time i dont want to go....i guess im just a little consurned about the fact that 3 of the guys there are hitting on me....grr...oh well i guess...latters for now....got any sugestions? let me know ok?...

~zoe

grr

2005-07-08T15:01:13Z

hi everyone, or everyone that cares if i post at all...well i think i might close my journal because everyone else is consearned about other ppl....so i guess i'll close this account sometime soon, well i guess thats all for now. i think it is anyways...latters, maybe latters for good...

~zoe

hey

2005-07-07T15:33:35Z

hey guys i just was kinda board, so i desided to post, the only thing i can really think of posting is.....about the movie 'war of the worlds' .... i saw it last night and i loved the graphics, but i was the only one in the hole theator that was scared of it...oh well they still did a great job at it....i loved the story line too....and everyone's acting was awasome ^^ well thats all for now i guess..see yeah ^^

latters,
~zoe

well

2005-07-05T15:53:07Z

well the 4th was nice except for the fact that i didnt get to see my crush, i was so happy that i might have gotten to tell him how i feel...but maybe its a blessing in descise, or what ever the hell u wanna call it...and i didnt ger to see another person that i havent seen for ages, he is from germany...and i would like to hang out with the dude sometime! oooooooh well. but a good thing was that i got to see lizzie! and her boyfriend! and i also got to see luke! and i also got to kick nelson in the f-ing balls! that was cool ^^ ...thats what he gets for spying on me when im in my swimming suit! he is such a perv. but then again, what boy isnt the slitest bit perverted? i guess thats about all for now...

hope everyone had a great 4th, tell me how it went 4 u!

latters,
zoe

cool

2005-07-03T18:12:32Z

You scored as Emo Kid. You listen to emo. 'Nuff said. You know how to dress. You usually feel as if nobody understands you.

</td>

Punk

60%

Emo Kid

60%

Goth

53%

Hot

47%

Jock

33%

Geek/Nerd

33%

"Ghetto"

27%

Loner

27%

Prep

20%

Stoner

20%

What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To?
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4th of July!!

2005-07-03T17:12:14Z

Im so excited! tommarow is the 4th of july and i'll get to hang out with like 20 ppl!! ^^ it'llbe cool ^^...but what i'm really hopein for is to see a good friend that i havent seen for a year! its gonna be nice to see him and hang out, hopefully my crush will be there too...i'll be happy if was there, maybe then i could tell him how i feel ^^

wish me luck!

~zoe

Well...

2005-07-01T15:22:25Z

well the summer for me has been kinda odd, i never get to sdo anything because i babysit every day of the week 'sept for saterday and sunday....oh well, i just hate not being able to hang out with my friends...and i miss my mom and her boyfriend...no that, for me, has got to tell u that i havent got anything to do anymore...but the cool thing is that i get to go and hang out with some close friends tonight! ^^ im so exsited...i already know that we arn't gonna sleep...i mean: me + friends + food + vidio games + anime + gossip = NO SLEEP!!! ^^ well i hope that everyone else is haven' a great summer...or a semi-great summer...lol, oh....and i died my hair! it now had medium red, dark red, blond, and brown in it! tonight my friends are gonna freak...i have never put red in my hair this dramatic!! well its cool though...

ok a creapy thing has happened to me! ok so my dad is a jerk and never calls me...ever, so i hadnt seen or talked to him for about 4 years! so out of the blue he calls me on father's day....and im thinkin "what in the hell? why is he callin me?" so i talk to him...and he explains to me many things i had no i dea about, things like how he was an olimpic swimer, and how he was a great athleat, what he did to my mother....many things that was a bit just to big to possibly swallow....so now he calls every f-ing day! but to be perfically honest, i enjoy to hear and remember his voice...we talk about the dummest things...but maybe he will change...maybe he finally realized what to do with his life, maybe he finally realized that i was important enuph to talk to and care about...well i guess its a blessing in discize.

well on another note, i hope that everyone has a father and mother, or at least a father and mother figure...oh, and i am so exsited for the 4th of july!! YAY! and another YAY! its a time where EVERYONE is together, like friends and fam! im exsited to seem 'em all! and to do stupid things with them like die our hair with screwy colors...heh, its gonna be cool ^^...well thats about all i have to say for now!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!! ^^

ninja_zoe @ 2005-06-28T21:11:00

2005-06-29T03:31:50Z

Hey everyone....i have been thinking....about my friends, i wonder still if i ever had any true ones....i miss those laphs i had with close ppl...sometimes i wonder why i thought it to be true, friends...few are really true...i have found that out the past few years....hopefully im not hurting anyones feelings by saying that, but i feel as if it is true. i wish no one would fake ppl out. i hope im not the only one who thinks this...but does anyone remember their very first best friend? well i sertanitaly do...i shall not say her name, but she was a great person, and she still is, maybe she is just lost in her soul, but i wish she had never changed....i found over years that she was talking behind my back....and that she was saying that she was just being nice to me cuz she had to. no one should be a friend, or fake friend, for a reason like that...but then one day, months latter, when an uncle had passed away in her family, who did she turn to? it was me...not because no one else was there, but because she knew that she could talk to me openly, with-out worry about what i would think, when she called me crying i didnt know what to say....so i was there for her, i cared enuph to pitty and forgive her, i feel that on that day...maybe i was a true friend to those dear to me....maybe i am not the 'cool' kid at school, but at least i care about those i love, about ppl dear to me...about family & friends....so i hope that this may speek to some of u....what i have said here is true, it is real, and it is reality...have u been dear like that to someone?

i still ask myself why i was there for her, even after what she had done to me, how she was behind my back....i still cared...

but on another note...im getting ready to 'finaly' get my electric guitar, so then me and some friends cand start our band....i think even if we never play for someone else, it will still be a great expereance

i hope what i have said did not offend or bother anyone....i hope all is well with everyone...peace out! ^^

~Zoe

ninja_zoe @ 2005-06-20T22:15:00

2005-06-21T04:16:16Z

la la la la la la la la...i need to get my electric guitar... >.

ninja_zoe @ 2005-06-17T17:11:00

2005-06-17T23:14:05Z

well i am willing to give out my e-mail for anyone who wants to have it, so p[lease e-mail me....thanx *sigh*

shuichi_shindo_Zj@yahoo.co.nz

my yahoo sn is:

shuichi_shindo_zj

ninja_zoe @ 2005-06-17T15:30:00

2005-06-17T21:35:10Z

well, i guess i cant do much more of this, i havent seen my crush or 2 1/2 weeks, i dont know how much more of this i can take...i need to see him, badly...i need a hug.... :( i havent felt this alone in so so so long, i havent cried for almost 3 years about this sort of stuff but i feel like i might cry now.... :( *tear running down left cheek* boy oh boy i dont know what to do anymore...*sigh*

ninja_zoe @ 2005-06-10T19:13:00

2005-06-11T12:34:18Z

hi hi everyone, i was watchin InuYasha again and got board....so im just here to say 'hi'
here are some pics...

InuYasha: Main charicter...lover is Kagome...seeks revenge on Neroku
http://www.animecowboy.com/gallery/Inuyasha/Inuyasha.jpg

http://www.suta-raito.com/images/Inuyasha.gif

http://www.wot-club.org.uk/Inuyasha/images/advert/17_Inuyasha.jpg

http://www.awn.com/folioscope/FDA2003/images/Photos/Inuyasha.jpg

http://archives.theotaku.com/inuyasha/pictures/inuyasha02/image_04.jpg

http://www.genvid.com/TGTN/inuyasha.png

InuYasha kid: When his mother was alive
http://www.s2kitty.com/art/fanart/young_inuyasha.jpg

http://www.inuyashaworld.com/fanart/85.jpg

http://www.akane.org/fanfiction/younginu.jpg

Sesshomaru: InuYasha's big bro
http://www.tuttomanga.com/inu/immagini/sesshomaru4.jpg

http://www.kagome.it/imm/sessh/ses16.jpg

http://www.freewebs.com/dogboyinu/sessgrabtoukijin.jpg

http://www.nichibeianime.com/cel-imgs/inuyasha-imgs/b05041.jpg

Jaken: Sesshomaru's "humble" servant
http://www.absoluteanime.com/inu-yasha/jaken.jpg

http://www.wot-club.org.uk/Inuyasha/images/vols/v02e.jpg

Kagome: Lover of Inuyasha....reincarnation of Kikyo
http://www.wot-club.org.uk/Inuyasha/images/vols/v02e.jpg

http://surbrook.devermore.net/adaptionsanime/inuyasha/kagome2.jpg

Kikyo: Ticked into thinking InuYasha betrayed her...Used to be lovers...brought back to life...seeks revenge on InuYasha...and soon Naroku
http://www.paybest.com/jpg3/inuyasha_kikyo.jpg

http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/inuyasha_Kikyo.jpg

http://www.aucifer.com/iyimage/kikyo/kikyo_025.jpg

http://images.quizilla.com/N/Nogitsune/1052007999_ultskikyo2.jpg

Sango: brother was killed than brought back to life...Seeks revenge on Neroku
http://www.animint.com/encyclopedie/dossiers/image/i/inuyasha/sango.jpg

http://www.absoluteanime.com/inu-yasha/_sango.jpg

Shippo: thunder brothers killed his father...seeks revenge on Neroku...also just along for the ride
http://kikouyous.web.free.fr/Inuyasha/shippo1.jpg

http://chibichan.coolglory.de/animepalast/bilder/iy_shippo.jpg

http://www.fox-dream.com/kitsune/shippofather.jpg

http://www.inetres.com/gp/anime/inuyasha/36-41/inu38_08.jpg

Miroku: some fucked up demon that everyone hates...
http://www.kagome.it/imm/sangmir/sm08.jpg

http://surbrook.devermore.net/adaptionsanime/inuyasha/miroku1.jpg

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/36/1130/1024/miroku%20collage.jpg

Kilala/kirara: Sango's faithful pet demon...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/xuanxuan/kilala.jpg

http://www.absoluteanime.com/inu-yasha/kilala2.jpg

http://people.freenet.de/samynoir/normal_Kirara2012.jpg

InuYasha and Kagome:
http://templateinukagome.weblogger.terra.com.br/img/templateinukagome.jpg

http://www.lostwindchime.net/ig/inuandkag/a/47.jpg

http://www.sewingstars.com/images/inuyashaandkagome800.jpg

http://www.chibiexplosion.com/inuyasha/movie2/58.jpg

http://kagomeluvinuyasha.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/mainpagepic.jpg

http://kagomeluvinuyasha.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/mainpagepic.jpg

http://mayumitian.brasilflog.com.br/1112059142.jpg

http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~tfuller/art/kitty.jpg ... i love this one cuz kagome is trying to be an inuyasha girl, how sweet ^_^

http://img192.exs.cx/img192/4818/bscap0615nb.jpg

i remember this episode, heh i couldnt stop laphin, lol ^_^ http://www.maridah.com/featured/images/f_003.jpg

http://ilovemiroku.weblogger.terra.com.br/img/inuyasha_sitting_on_kagome_bike.jpg

i guess thats all, tell me what u think ^_^

~Zoe

Green Day at Your House...
Name
Age
Member
Sex?
Billie Joe	Does you hard to "Hitchin A Ride"
Mike	writes a song about how much he wants to kiss you (aww!!)
Tre	Finger you to "Longview"
They all	have their way with you- at the same time...
And you	give them all a kiss and nothing more
Kinkyness?	You were Billie Joe's sex slave

This Quiz by AngelsGracingTheLines - Taken 792 Times. </a>

Your Dream Emo Boyfriend. Pictures.
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your boyfriend is...
He call you...	Pookie.
You met at...	McDonald's.
He plays the...	Drums.
His mistakes...	Being bi.

This Quiz by Wow_she_is_tall - Taken 42540 Times. </a>